Saturday, October 15, 2011
31 Days of Horror 2011: Day Four "Warlock"
SUMMARY: Unintentionally hilarious late 80's time-travelling/dark magic horror with a fantastic cast including Richard E Grant (dracula, how to get ahead in advertising), Lori Singer (motherfuckin footloose!), and the epitome of ponytailed 80's douche-bag cool Julian Sands (boxing helena, gothic).
I believe the phrase "This is horrible, let's turn it off" was uttered about 10 times during this film, but I could not (or maybe would not) will myself to push stop. The premise was interesting, kinda Bill and Ted meets the Highlander meets Willow (disclaimer: there are no dwarfs in this film). The effects were decent, culminating with a great ending death scene. Overall, I'm glad I watched the whole thing.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
31 Days of Horror 2011: Day Three "Horror Express"
Summary: I hate to plagiarize but I think Hulu+ said it best -- "Victorian scientists fight a missing-link monster making zombies on a trans-Siberian train. YUUUUPPP!!!
This movie is a monster-on-the-loose movie wrapped in a mindless killer zombie movie wrapped in a body snatcher/soul possessor movie on a train in Victorian Russia with a twist at the end that is fucking brilliant. You think you know where it's going, but you have no idea! The highlights include horror greats Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing as well as a surprise appearance from the unexpectedly sexy Telly Savalas as what I think is a Russian train pirate. There are lots of eerily reminiscent images that make for great MST3000 commentary such as Terminator-like red eyes, Hammer-horror Victorian costumes, and even a knock-off Rasputin (of course! this is russia!). I gotta say, I loved it.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
31 Days of Horror 2011: Day Two "Zombie Women of Satan"
"Zombie Women of Satan" by Steve O'Brien & Warren Speed, 2009
The tagline for this movie is "It really was the wrong time of the month." Nuff said.
31 Days of Horror 2011: Day One "House"
"House" by Nobuhiko Obayashi, 1977
SUMMARY: Psychedelic live-action anime horror done by late 70's technophiles eager to utilize the latest in special effects.
I had very high hopes for this film. It's a cult classic art house nerds love to name drop so I was eager to see what all the fuss was about. Its often screened by reputable repertory movie theaters, including one of Philadelphia's premier film establishments the International House
The film begins with a group of 7 school girls in their sailor-like school uniforms, innocent, smiling, and softly focused like a Brian DePalma locker scene. I soon realized that I knew nothing about this movie and what little I did know was completely wrong. As it progressed with crazy stereo-typical costumes, wild editing, slapstick humor, and choreographed sing-a-longs I waited with bated breath for the horror to begin.
My mind began to wander. I realized that though the movie was not that great it would be FANTASTIC as an American re-make. I began piecing the scenes together in my head, mirroring the ones on the screen. I think that's what got me through without the aid of hallucinatory drugs or hours of drinking.
When the killing began, it was far more cartoony than I'd expected. It traded scares and tension for wild special effects and grade school humor. Though I was amused, I was overall disappointed. So I am currently working on my re-make complete with dramatic painted backdrops, trippy synth soundtrack, and a never-ceasing pedestal fan.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Friday, September 30, 2011
It's that time again...
October starts tomorrow and I will be back in horror-mode doing my best to consume nothing but nightmarish demon-inducing art, music, and movies for the next 31 days. Tonight, I will watch something sunny and happy and full of light... probably created by Disney... but tomorrow my friends, tomorrow I begin my annual worship of the Beast.
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